Thursday, December 23, 2010
Darbaneezer Scrooge, Resident Sadist
My new name around the Davis residence here in Midwest City in Oklahoma is Darbaneezer Scrooge. I want to clearly establish with my readers that I AM NOT ANTI-CHRISTMAS. I am anti-cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. I was forced to sit through one tonight and made a few comments (rebukes) on the movie. It was yet another big city-meets-small town movie fodder with bad acting and cookie-cutter dialogue. Everyone knows, when you watch one of these movies, the chimes always mean magic is in the air! The one thing I can say for the movie is at least their Santa had an actual beard. Maybe the long shopping day and Festivus, along with the ever-sarcastic human half of Calvin and Hobbes at his best in the tenth anniversary collection of my grandparents' have brought out my inner sadist. I simply must make fun of the lame dancing and fake tears flashing on the screen in front of me. How anyone can like these movies I'll never know. I guess I have the same questions about how anyone can get so remarkably famous for a pretty stupid outburst, what exactly makes a person interested in math, and why we believe all we see on TV. I am also unaware of how to copy/paste on a Mac, how exactly to make a point to you people who read this, and how to understand heavy southern accents. I am learning, however, how to please my teachers, how to wrap Christmas gifts, and how to survive an 18-hour car ride. Hopefully 2011 will teach me more, and leave me with more interesting questions.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Impatiently waiting!!!
I am struggling to be patient right now.
It's the last week of school before break, as the other students of Cobb, Paulding, and Cherokee county schools know, and everyone is antsy, including this cool, calm collected chick who merely smiles on the last day of school. (Well, maybe just in the building. 'Tis tradition that I scream, "YES!!!" as I step off the bus, yearbook in hand.) We simply cannot contain our glee, even after most of us have shaken off the Santa fiasco. The teachers throw us death looks, but no one cares as we give each other special notes, presents, and noogies, all conveying the message, "Merry Christmas!" The adolescents are ballistic, and the teachers all decide that homework in this final stretch is too much trouble. Still, in the Advanced Content classrooms, final exams pop up right and left. Visions of sugarplums, not formulas and possessive pronouns, dance in the student body's collective head. The holidays are now taking their annual toll on parents and teachers, who must either house or teach the raging fireball, hyper on candy canes, that is the nation's children. Shopping, cooking, wrapping, and much blood, sweat, and tears are given from the adults, all to satisfy the younger generations apparent need for plastic toys and, as featured in Museum Tour's annual catalog, giant raspberry-like things that are, "designed for belly-bumping and belly laughing good times." The question is, how are you able to move through doorways? If it truly is designed for indoor/outdoor use, then wouldn't more things get broken by small flailing arms and legs, distraught children attempting to get back on their feet? I will never understand the consumer's idea of value. Wooden elephants the size of potatoes for $60? Absinthe kits? Model planes, trains, and automobiles for hundreds apiece that take 2 years to assemble? I now understand why more people of the younger generation are asking for never-fail gift cards--some peoples' "good taste in gift items" is slim to none. Besides, it's more fun to buy things yourself.
It's the last week of school before break, as the other students of Cobb, Paulding, and Cherokee county schools know, and everyone is antsy, including this cool, calm collected chick who merely smiles on the last day of school. (Well, maybe just in the building. 'Tis tradition that I scream, "YES!!!" as I step off the bus, yearbook in hand.) We simply cannot contain our glee, even after most of us have shaken off the Santa fiasco. The teachers throw us death looks, but no one cares as we give each other special notes, presents, and noogies, all conveying the message, "Merry Christmas!" The adolescents are ballistic, and the teachers all decide that homework in this final stretch is too much trouble. Still, in the Advanced Content classrooms, final exams pop up right and left. Visions of sugarplums, not formulas and possessive pronouns, dance in the student body's collective head. The holidays are now taking their annual toll on parents and teachers, who must either house or teach the raging fireball, hyper on candy canes, that is the nation's children. Shopping, cooking, wrapping, and much blood, sweat, and tears are given from the adults, all to satisfy the younger generations apparent need for plastic toys and, as featured in Museum Tour's annual catalog, giant raspberry-like things that are, "designed for belly-bumping and belly laughing good times." The question is, how are you able to move through doorways? If it truly is designed for indoor/outdoor use, then wouldn't more things get broken by small flailing arms and legs, distraught children attempting to get back on their feet? I will never understand the consumer's idea of value. Wooden elephants the size of potatoes for $60? Absinthe kits? Model planes, trains, and automobiles for hundreds apiece that take 2 years to assemble? I now understand why more people of the younger generation are asking for never-fail gift cards--some peoples' "good taste in gift items" is slim to none. Besides, it's more fun to buy things yourself.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The reason I'm so tired right now
Last night, our BHYM group did something we'd never done before.
We sang.
(At another church. ((with 4 kids in the whole youth group.(((combined with another youth group.((((with the same number of kids--4))))))))))
I love parentheses. :)
Anyhow, I could barely sing in church, my voice was so tired.
I couldn't sit comfortably, either, because I think I bruised my tailbone when I fell out of a hammock.
And I could barely hold my eyes open, because I was so tired.
But I was happy.
Until Mom and Dad snitched me out of my class to go to a brunch filled with our entire senior citizen population.
Fun, fun.
At least I got a good omlette.
We had so much fun singing, and had fun singing so much, that we couldn't stop, even with how much our fragile voices cracked and creaked.
We sang the whole way home.
Man, what a night.
:) :) :)
We sang.
(At another church. ((with 4 kids in the whole youth group.(((combined with another youth group.((((with the same number of kids--4))))))))))
I love parentheses. :)
Anyhow, I could barely sing in church, my voice was so tired.
I couldn't sit comfortably, either, because I think I bruised my tailbone when I fell out of a hammock.
And I could barely hold my eyes open, because I was so tired.
But I was happy.
Until Mom and Dad snitched me out of my class to go to a brunch filled with our entire senior citizen population.
Fun, fun.
At least I got a good omlette.
We had so much fun singing, and had fun singing so much, that we couldn't stop, even with how much our fragile voices cracked and creaked.
We sang the whole way home.
Man, what a night.
:) :) :)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
C'mon, Santa, pull through for me...
DRUUUUUMRRRRRROLLLLLL PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!!
(brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....)
DARBY FRANKS'S CHRISTMAS LIST!
(cymbal clash)
***
I've tried to organize it a bit this year. I'll list the more big-ticket stuff first. I'm not trying to seem stuck-up, but my family is begging me. So here goes:
BIG-TICKET ITEMS
Kindle
iTouch
Creative Cosmetics kit
Candy Factory kit
a neat ice cream maker for the family
SMALL-TICKET ITEMS
Edward Gorey book-lover's tee
Target black graphic flowers wall stickers
new wall art from The Whimsical Nest
black plaid rain boots
Careful, or you'll end up in my novel tee
Absinthe kit (just kidding!)
Here's to hoping that the good ol' fat guy's gonna pull through for me!
(brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....)
DARBY FRANKS'S CHRISTMAS LIST!
(cymbal clash)
***
I've tried to organize it a bit this year. I'll list the more big-ticket stuff first. I'm not trying to seem stuck-up, but my family is begging me. So here goes:
BIG-TICKET ITEMS
Kindle
iTouch
Creative Cosmetics kit
Candy Factory kit
a neat ice cream maker for the family
SMALL-TICKET ITEMS
Edward Gorey book-lover's tee
Target black graphic flowers wall stickers
new wall art from The Whimsical Nest
black plaid rain boots
Careful, or you'll end up in my novel tee
Absinthe kit (just kidding!)
Here's to hoping that the good ol' fat guy's gonna pull through for me!
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