Darbaneezer Scrooge, Resident Sadist

My new name around the Davis residence here in Midwest City in Oklahoma is Darbaneezer Scrooge. I want to clearly establish with my readers that I AM NOT ANTI-CHRISTMAS. I am anti-cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. I was forced to sit through one tonight and made a few comments (rebukes) on the movie. It was yet another big city-meets-small town movie fodder with bad acting and cookie-cutter dialogue. Everyone knows, when you watch one of these movies, the chimes always mean magic is in the air! The one thing I can say for the movie is at least their Santa had an actual beard. Maybe the long shopping day and Festivus, along with the ever-sarcastic human half of Calvin and Hobbes at his best in the tenth anniversary collection of my grandparents' have brought out my inner sadist. I simply must make fun of the lame dancing and fake tears flashing on the screen in front of me. How anyone can like these movies I'll never know. I guess I have the same questions about how anyone can get so remarkably famous for a pretty stupid outburst, what exactly makes a person interested in math, and why we believe all we see on TV. I am also unaware of how to copy/paste on a Mac, how exactly to make a point to you people who read this, and how to understand heavy southern accents. I am learning, however, how to please my teachers, how to wrap Christmas gifts, and how to survive an 18-hour car ride. Hopefully 2011 will teach me more, and leave me with more interesting questions.